Edjubacation

Well, I was looking over a menu thinking to myself, I think I could make this stuff at home (Gop Chang Jun Gol - boiled fresh beef intestine, beef tripe, radishes, bean curd, etc. or Bu Dae Jun Gol - boiled spam, bacon, sausage and various vegetables) until I came across something that requires dropwort...

Funny, I was picturing my spice rack and thought wow I don't think I have a smidge of dropwort! Come to think of it, I don't even know what the hell dropwort is. It seems that I will make a trip to the nearest calcareous grassland because I am not only interested in cooking with dropwort but the health benefits as well.

I mean come on, there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not concerned about my stone and gravel - though, I don't believe I wish the stoppage of urine - however it then goes on to say that it provokes the urine (come on people, make up your minds) - frankly, I don't want my urine provoked per se. I mean I've been ok thus far without stopping or provoking it. I think it best left alone...

So, for the other ignorant people out there, here's some information on dropwort:


DROPWORT FILIPENDULA VULGARIS
Good for the stone, gravel, and stoppage of urine.
The roots of the Dropwort resemble Dahlia tubers. The stalks grow to about a foot (30 cm) high and bear many pretty flowers in the shape of an umbel. They are white on the inside and red on the outside.

Where to find it: A perennial of calcareous grassland.
Flowering time: It flowers in early summer.
Astrology: It is accounted under Venus.
Medicinal virtues: The root is used to provoke the urine and therefore is good for those with the stone.
Modern uses: There are several plants bearing the name of Dropwort and most of them are poisonous. The root of Filipendula vulgaris contains a slightly poisonous glycoside. The Water Hemlock (Oenanthe crocata) is also known as Dropwort. It grows in ditches and in stagnant water, and is one of the most poisonous plants, causing death within three hours. The Water Dropwort (Oenanthe aquatica) is less poisonous. A homoeopathic tincture of the seeds is used in doses of a few drops for the treatment of coughs, flatulence and urinary tract disorders. The common Tubular Water Dropwort is known botanically as Oenanthe fatulosa. Because of the confusion that can arise in discerning the poisonous varieties from the innocuous, it is recommended that they are not used as herbal medicines domestically.

The Amish can keep their damn chicken...

Feeling indulgent I treated a friend to a luncheon (read: mid day meal consisting of tiny portions and unpronounceable ingredients that I'm not sure actually qualify as foodstuffs) at the opulent Four Seasons Hotel in Chicago. A couple of times a year they offer high tea with fashion shows from Bloomingdale's but this year it was a luncheon in celebration of Administrative Assistant's Day. While I am a glorified Admin Assistant, this wasn't the reason I went. I actually thought we were attending one of the high tea/fashion show combos. So while I was confused, it was fine that we were going to have lunch..until lunch arrived.

The menu offered a choice of soup, asparagus bisque, or a spring salad. I ordered the bisque (yes, I was truly feeling indulgent) and my companion ordered the salad. My soup was a watery, tasteless, greenish substance with asparagus tips floating aimlessly around the little cup. The salad was only slightly more appealing until my companion was picking out some of the more peculiar bits and setting them aside after she tasted them and grimaced...Apparently, spring means random bits of vegetation that happen to be growing right about now and salad means to mix the random items together under some dressing.

For the main course we were offered either cod in soy and palm sugar or Amish chicken over polenta. We both elected to have the chicken. It arrived, delivered by the most delicious man, Kevin (the only salivating I did during that meal was over that man..sigh...) who caught me drinking him in on several occasions....Anyway, I think the Amish are a bunch of haters...From what I could tell "Amish" means undercooked, unseasoned and hate-filled. At this point you must know that my friend and I are very experimental and open to new culinary experiences with very different palates...but this pushed both of our limits. We were good sports and ate some of the dish, avoiding each other's eyes for fear we'd burst out laughing and spew half chewed raw chicken all over the neatly dressed Administrative Assistants we were dining near....I'm really not sure what was being attempted with the entrée to be quite honest what little flavors there were, were less than tantalizing.

Now, we didn't get any choice for dessert - which was fine, it sounded interesting and neither of us was so put off by the meal to not keep trying - for what I paid for the meals by george we were going to like something!!!!!! And the dessert (no, it was not Kevin dressed only in a Redi-whip speedo), as it turned out, was the best part of the entire meal! It was a spongy organic carrot cake with sour cream sorbet drizzled with a pineapple sauce of some sort...Mmmmmm....I'm not always the biggest fan of carrot cake...or dessert for that matter (unless its Kevin + Redi-whip) but this was really good. Sour cream sorbet may not sound particularly appealing, and on its own, I think I might agree - but with the carrot cake, wow! I was very impressed...

The other thing that impressed me, as it always does, is the service. Aside from having things brought to us by His Hotness (Go Four Seasons HR!!!), the service is always fantastic - and often funny. They NEVER want to disagree with you. No matter how insane you might be sounding. As I said, I thought we were attending a tea and so when I was trying to find our reservations and where we were supposed to be I continued to say "tea" - confusing most of the staff but no one wanted to disagree with me and so we had these strange circular conversations - it was eventually sorted, obviously, but they were just so polite - almost to the point of frustrating me at times......sigh......I toyed with the idea of asking Kevin for a rendezvous of sorts and hoping they weren't allowed to say no to a guest....I'd have checked in right then and there (even if it were like a weeks pay - he'd be worth it, I'm sure).

"Love is like ghosts...

...which everybody talks about and few have seen" - La Rochefoucauld

So, I've been doing the online dating thing since May of this year. It's now December and while I didn't have lofty expectations, I did have the expectation that, at minimum, my potential suitors might be capable of stringing together a scant few coherent sentences...alas, it is not so....

Let's take a look at some of the people I've encountered thus far. Some of these men (and I use that term loosely) I went out with a couple of times, others never made it past the first email exchange...sigh....

First, there was the divorcee who had a nervous breakdown of some sort after about a month of seeing each other.

Next, there was the man who couldn't stop calling his work Wallygreens - I actually met this one for a drink...ugh...

Then, there was the guy who invited me down to his place basically to watch his dogs urinate all over his apartment while he got high....Can you give me a "W" for WINNER?!?

There was the really nice guy but we just lacked chemistry and after about a little over a month we just sort of drifted apart....

Oh, then there's the alcoholic who liked to tell me about the DUIs he's racked up - at least this guy could speak in full sentences and didn't need polysyllabic words defined for him....we saw each other a few times over the course of a two month period...though one of our last conversations was him telling me about the bar fight he had just gotten in...sigh....

Hmmm....who else...oh, the guy who over a month's time of emailing, phone calls and daily IMing, after meeting for a drink would hardly address me (at the end of the evening his now famous exiting line was "Keep in touch") - he didn't even have the courage to tell me what his deal was. I wouldn't hold it against someone if they weren't attracted to me, or whatever, but own up to it for crying out loud. What are you, 5? I mean there are nice ways of telling someone you're not interested! Get a grip and grow up....

I've become a little jaded with all of this, but I keep persevering. However, the pickings are slim...Here are some choice quotes from The Boys (I've not spoken to any of these guys via phone yet, and at the rate they're going, they're not worth using my cell minutes). Please note, these are not just typos or mistakes, most of these are after weeks of communicating and often are repeats:

L says: "I not a big book reader" (You don't say...)

J says: "in las vegas for the first time for 3 adn haf days what a blast." (Uh, ok then)

H says: "My membership will expirs soon you can write me." (Um, what?)

Just a few examples of what I've got to look forward to....I think I may need to take a little break for a while or just drink heavily...I thought it would be statistics that drove me over the edge but really, I'm doing quite well in the class. Is it too late to become a nun? Oh wait, that really wouldn't work...Oh well...

Anyway, I'm currently avoiding my stats homework - I should go and hopefully I'll get some work done.

Later....

Flying turtles and several bottles of wine...

So, in our daily discussions of alien lesbian invasions of earth, B brings up Gamera (they're actually mutually exclusive, its just how the conversation went)! I almost had an aneurysm! I haven't thought of the giant, flying, spinning defender of Earth since I was about 8 years old and in my cousin's basement on Crandon (south side of Chicago)!! I was so excited, I could barely contain myself. So I went to Amazon and found a BOX SET - not the weenie cartoon version either, the REAL THING!! :) So, of course I'm going to order it an lock myself in my apartment for a day to watch all three movies in one sitting! YAY! Just more of a reason to be a recluse and totally withdraw from society....

So I went out with Tash tonight. We hit up a reasonably new restaurant in Oak Park for some fantastic food and a few bottles of wine - boy, the two of us can really pack away the wine. I am going to be a hurting unit tomorrow when I have to write my 20 page Organizational Analysis....sigh...such an idiot am I....oh well...I think it was worth it... Anyway...I should go to bed shortly. I've got to be up early in the morning and AbbyCat is having nine fits about sharing my attention with the computer this evening!

Nightmares...

So last night I woke with a start at around 4am. I had a nightmare. Not that its all that unusual for me to have a nightmare but usually they don't wake me up. However, this one was involving school. In my dream I got a C and apparently panicked. So I had to get up and check my grades - so insane. I never cared much before what grades I got so I'm not so sure why I care so damn much now...heaven forbid I actually find reasonable balance. I am all about one extreme or another...I think I may be trying to drive myself nuts....

Actually, a little stay in the looney bin doesn't sound so bad right about now....

I think I may have to give up dating for a while. It takes a LOT of energy without much reward. Don't get me wrong, some of these guys have been great but it seems like the ones I really like are....troubled?...Or incapable of communicating...or acting like an adult....Hmmm...not sure if this is a reflection upon myself or not. I mean, its not like I know them for very long to get any sort of sense about them. I just generally find myself enjoying their company and then they flake out....Its really just annoying, more than anything. I mean seriously, its not that difficult.

Or maybe it is. Maybe I just expect too much - I think that's always been a problem of mine...oh well...if I stop dating, there will be no expectations. Just for the time being. I have to admit I am pretty busy between work, school and family obligations. But I'm also starting to feel lonely - which makes this a tough call. But then I fear losing my independence again - which is what a relationship has meant for me in the past.

My life is starting to just feel like a waking nightmare. Full of uncertainty and scary places and emptiness....sigh....

Such is life...

Well, I can't figure people out to save my life so I think I'll stop trying. I went for a little constitutional in the cemetery after my dr's appointment this afternoon. It did me some good, both the appointment and the meditation in the cemetery - helped clear some of the cob webs and dust bunnies that have been building up in my head.

Recently met what I thought was a great guy - so far, the best of the bunch (or so I thought) but the feeling is apparently not mutual. Oh well....I actually think we might have been on two different dates when we went out, LOL - not sure what went wrong but apparently something did - so much so that our conversations have turned to shriveled up, juiceless raisins....sigh......

B is still around though our schedules NEVER synch up. Basically one of us has to not sleep for a day - and usually a work day at that...sigh...so annoying...We've resorted to a few 5 minute phone calls here and there - frankly, I need more...

Though, and I realize its only been a few months, dating, while it can be fun and interesting, is hard work...sigh.....

The dr was decent today, nothing more than some routene bloodwork (need to know if I still have blood) and a couple of referrals to some specialists - so basically the usual. Just minor probing today. One would think I'd be used to it - well, I guess I actually am used to it but I still get a little funky every time I have to go....I got the flu shot so apparently I'm going to feel a little yucky tonight - great....

I wish I had something of consequence to write about today - or ever. It seems like, lately, I've had the creativitiy sucked right out of me. I suppose I could blame work or school but I don't know that either of those things are the cause. I don't know what it is....sigh.....the lack of muse? No, I still get those feelings when I watch the clouds or crunch through the fall leaves...its the words...they just won't come out....Oh, the trees tonight, in the rich sunlight were brilliant. If I had more time, I would have lain down under one of those trees with the leaves the color of sunset and just let the light filter down onto me...I wished I had my Pentax with me...I really need to invest in a decent digital camera....Or get used to using film again....see, total ADD tonight...and every night....

Well, I should go...I've got homework and a school chat tonight.

What Do I Do Lyrics

The wrong side of 7am...

So for the first time in our long term affair, Google lead me astray. It was particularly frustrating at 1am whilst trying to find The Boy's house. I wound up parked behind a Lonestar Steakhouse and while I believe they have one of the best prime ribs I've ever eaten, I could have cared less at that moment in time. So there I sat on Welt or Wendt or something, which turns out to not really be a street but more like some sort of mall access road, thoroughly annoyed...I called of course and the evening or morning was untarnished by Google's carelessness (And oh how untarnished it was!!) but I still felt a little hurt....

The Boy, however, was as wonderful as expected - he's just so sweet and thoughtful. The sexiest, cutest moments continue to happen when I'm with him. Last night, was one of those moments...completely as sigh worthy as our episode in the rain but completely different....

Our time together was winding down..but I wasn't ready to go quite yet..I felt something when I looked at him, something that made me just want to wrap my arms around him and, I don't know..make him better - but there wasn't any reason to soothe, I just felt like I wanted to...I pulled him from his chair onto the couch with me and rubbed his shoulders for a bit. He leaned back into me and I slid my arms around him and after just a few minutes, he was asleep. I rested my chin on his head, face buried into his hair and a few minutes later, I too was asleep - the happysafesleep that is so rare. One of his dogs climbed upon the couch and curled up in his lap and there we stayed. I don't know how long we were - I don't think it was long, but it felt so good....and...wow....

Now that I've not yet slept and I'm feeling the pain of staying out all night, I've got to go torture myself with a good solid workout. Such the masochist am I...

Playing doctor...

So, I've taken myself off of all of the medications. I am not sure how bright this was but I got tired of being so tired all of the time. The joy of being free is overwhelming - Tuesday night was only brought to us in part by Captain Morgan, the rest was the lack of drugs wreaking havoc upon my poor body. I am still reeling in the utter joy found in feeling so good - I don't want it to end!

We'll see how this goes. It could backfire. I hope not. Right now, I'm just going to enjoy...Though I need another patient....Hmmm....

Rain...

Balcony. Late. Doll. Dark. Drunk. Angel. Rain....

Failed cigarettes tossed.

Against the stucco wall, in the pouring rain, he pressed his mouth against mine, hard, reflex and desire, helpless and he tasted like rum and sweet cold rain. I gave in so easily, so eagerly. He murmured something that I didn't hear and yet my knees weakened as his mouth passed by my ear, on his way to kissing the rivulets of water that flowed down the curve of my neck. He followed their trail down and I released an unintentional moan. I don't recall how or why, we returned to the interior and toweled off briefly before collapsing onto the couch, our stride barely broken, we fell back into each other. The chemistry was thick and made doing anything else impossible. 3:30am the rain had ended. Our paths, different directions. Parting words were spoken. The door locked and lights turned out.

I can still taste the rain-kisses. I can still feel him so close, pressed against me. He left his impression on my body - that now feels cavernous, lacking, where last night it felt electric and hungry. I feel his hands tangled in my wet hair. I don't know where my hands were and I don't know where they weren't. He didn't complain. Neither did I.

Finally, after so long but really not so long ago. I feel. My body is alive and aware. While winter approaches, yet spring begins. And it is wonderful and worth whatever it may cost....