Wednesday, May 28, 2008

My next date..

Ok, here are some guidelines for the next guy I go out with:

1) He must have read at least one book, in his lifetime, on purpose and for no other purpose than to have read it. Manuals and atlases do NOT count....

2) He must be able to use and/or understand polysyllabic words. I will NOT accept multi-syllable grunts....

3) He must have showered at least sometime in the last 24 hour period. There are NO exceptions to this.

4) He will either be able to spell or know how to use spell check. There is NO Google translation for IDIOT to ENGLISH and I am not going to waste any more time deciphering incoherent text messages, emails, etc....I get enough of those from my users.

5) He will under NO circumstances think that wearing a leather jacket with Disney's Enchanted Castle patches emblazoned upon the arms is a good thing (this rule was developed on the Metra today - three guesses why). I don't care why you have the jacket. It is NOT cool. It is NOT ok.

Well, that's it for now. I'm tired. I had my admissions interview this evening and a loooong conversation with my academic adviser. I am wiped out! Night!

Direction and Google Translate....

Well, I believe that while I have not made the most out of every second since my last post, I've done pretty well. I've decided to go for my Masters in Business Administration - so I graduate on August 24th and I begin grad school on August 25th. Isn't it wonderful that I get such a generous break? Anyway, while I'm doing the grad school thing, I'm going to be working on my application to Kent law school. YAY! Hopefully, they'll want me...Its the only law school I'm really interested in attending...My plan is to graduate from the masters program and then get about 3 months off before starting the law program. I'm particularly interested in their intellectual property law area of concentration. I wish I had figured all of this out years ago! Oh well!

So after a battle with Outlook this morning (some feature was disabled due to an error that caused..blah blah blah...) I got this message from one of the users:

Have you for your message. Since I currently am not published, the incoming mails to my secretary. You can reach my Secretariat under.

Granted, it was originally written in German and I used Google Translate but I'm really not seeing where in either language this is going to make sense....I can forgive Google for missing some colloquialisms - sure....But I don't care what language this message is in it does not make sense. And why are we involving Secretariat?? He's been dead almost, what 20 years now? And I don't think I'll be reaching him unless we whip out the old ouija board....

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Crowded house, crowded brain...

16 years later and they can still rock - and apparently so can I. LOL...Last Saturday Lo and I ventured down to The Vic to catch Crowded House in concert. I hadn't been to a concert since I Twain at the United Center (what an horrid venue). Anyway, the concert was fantastic though this time, rather than be down in the thick of things, we seated ourselves in the balcony...I remember the first time we saw them - we danced and sang all night long and then drifted over to Muskies and shared fries with the opening band, School of Fish. That night was amazing. And, actually, so was this past evening but for very different reasons - though, maybe not really. Lo was happy for the first time in a long time...I won't say she was happy for the first time since our first CH concert but its been a long time...Between her divorce and health issues she's really had a rough time of it and I'm so happy for her. She leaves for Austin in a couple of months but I've already decided to go down for our "anniversary" in November.

She and I met when we were 15. We sat near one another in a couple of classes and when I found out that her family wasn't doing anything for Thanksgiving (this disturbed me greatly) I invited her to our family gathering. After we both fed my grandmother's disgusting gelatinous pink coleslaw creation to the family dog, I knew I'd found a friend for life! And while we sometimes manage to go months with nary an email, we're always there for each other and we know it. She's lived in Arizona, traveled abroad and set up house on the south side of Chicago but no matter where she is, I know I can count on her. And the same holds true for her....So cheers, Lo! I love you and I am glad that happiness has found you - even though it was a long time getting there.

I Feel Possessed

She said I could never do that
But I know you can, you are in my dream
We are one person not two of a kind
And what was mine is now in your posession
I could feel you underneath my skin
As the wind rushed in
Sent the kitchen table crashing
She said nobody move
Or Ill bring the house down

I hardly know which way is up
Or which way down
People are strange God only knows
I feel possessed when you come around

It was one of those times
Wished I had a camera on me
Six foot off the ground
Well I know how that sounds
Look above you and beyond me too
That kind of view dont need an explanation
Im not lying, not asking for anything
I just want to be there when it happens again

I hardly know which way is up
Or which way down
People are strange God only knows
I feel possessed when you come round

Whenever you invade my home
Everything I know flies out the window
Its above you and beyond me too
I dont want an explanation
But Ill be there when you bring the house down

I hardly know which way is up
Or which way down
People are strange God only knows
I feel possessed when you come round
People are strange
I feel possessed when you come round

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Riley Elizabeth

I recently became an aunt again! And I want to take this opportunity to welcome Riley Elizabeth into our family - and the world! She was born on May 3rd at 8:30 in the morning. She was just over 6 pounds and apparently very feisty. Due to a variety of issues, I have yet to meet my little angel. She only got home this past weekend and I didn't want to disrupt their first few days all together as a family. I can't even express how thrilled I am to have a new niece (again). The other two went and grew up on me..the nerve...

BTW - the pic is actually one I took of Milo, T's baby, shortly after his birth TWO years, my..where does the time go?

Friday, May 9, 2008

Yellow Runts are Gross

Ok. So I'm not big into sweets but every so often I get a hankering for candy. I prefer tart candy - SweetTarts, sour gummi worms, etc. So the other day I was having a craving and I purchased a box of Runts. My favorite are the pink. I don't know what flavor they are trying to be but I love them. I would buy them by the pound if I could.

Happily, I head home with my box of treats.

Now, there is a downside to Runts, namely Yellow...Yellow is a BAD flavor in many cases (with the exception of lemon). And Runts proves this to be true. The yellow Runts are not lemon. I believe they are attempting to flavor them as banana. It fails. Miserably. Resulting in a disgusting, semi-phallic shaped candy that must be removed immediately from the mix lest it contaminate the other pieces further.

So there I am, all prepared to first remove the offensive yellow pieces and enjoy the remainder...When lo and behold - I notice that the box is announcing they've added new flavors...

This could be really good - I'm envisioning various shades of pink all over the place...mmmm....

...unless they remove some pink to make way for the new flavors OR if the new flavor is another yellow...

I dump the contents of the box onto a paper towel and there they are, the old reassuring ones, mixed with the Hater Banana ones and then the new flavors - some odd, round, reddish ones and then deformed pear shaped and YELLOW...UGH...but I have to try them - just in case they're lemon and delicious....I have hopes!

I know I am naive...

The new, yellow addition to the Runts family is, apparently, their attempt at pineapple (according to the box)...This...this..THING tastes nothing like pineapples..The person who thought this was anything close to tasting like a pineapple needs first to actually eat a pineapple and then, subsequently, be shot....

I had to consult the box to determine what fruit this thing was attempting to be...Again confirming my theory that with the exception of lemon, yellow flavored things are bad...

Mr. Wonka will be hearing about this...

Friday, May 2, 2008

Success is a fish that is pulled from an ocean....

So some spam tried to get all philsophical with my Inbox today. Not sure how I feel about this....gone are the days when spam was totally jibberish sent from "people" with names such as Pantyhose Q. Pontificates. I loved those....sigh...its a new dawn for spam. Seems that we're still all about the bigger and better penises and casting calls but gone is the LOVE....sigh....