OCD Brain...

I miss him, terribly.

I miss him, achingly so.

I miss him, fiercely.

I know he's only a few words away if needed....if wanted...and, oh!, is he wanted....If only I could reach out. If only I could forget. If only...

He checked in while I was so sick this past week....it was sweet and it pained me...

I carry around The Gift in it's plastic protective packaging...taking it out each morning to employ, sliding my fingers over it's length, letting it find it's natural place in my hand...then slipping it back into it's packaging, every evening. Toting it home with me in my purse.

It still brings a smile to my lips.

I was asked if I was going to send it back.

The idea makes my eyes sting.

I cannot reconcile any of this.How can this be? How can I have these feelings for someone who has done something I consider unforgivable? I want to go back to before I knew

Before last week.

While he was no knight in shining armor, mind you I am no damsel in distress - just your average princess, I had been enjoying  him so...I was feeling like I was getting to know him...And I guess now I do.