Libido Vita!

So, I started to write a bit of a rant about a conversation I had yesterday...And then I realized I just don't care. I think too much sometimes and when I ramble on I think it sounds like I'm more invested than I actually am.

It's just me considering all angles of a situation, trying to put myself in someone else's shoes, etc. It's not that I actually "care" or don't care, it's more like a puzzle for me to figure out.

My brain does this at times - especially when it has nothing better to do. I remember when I was unemployed for that year, I was so miserable. I made up things to think about. Puzzles to solve. Things to take my attention, mysteries to wonder about - anything to distract myself from how unhappy I was.

This is why I think I loved being in school so much. And why I think I should go back.

The last three years of my life have been nothing but a distraction. I think that the last few months have been the most reality I've had in a long time and it's really nice. I love the doing....I love the activity...And I love that I'm no longer cooped up in front of a computer all the time, wasting away in a fantasy world.

Last Thursday, I sat for two hours across the table from Janelle and I marveled at watching her face light up when she talked. Last Saturday, instead of calling my grandmother, I went and visited her and gave her a kiss upon arriving. When Rob and I parted last Sunday, I loved saying goodbye by putting my arms around him.

That's real. That's reality. That's living.

Once again, Snowy, you were right. I love you so much, some days it hurts (and not just because I can feel the smack upside my head through the phone). Thank you. I needed the slap. I know you've been beating me for the last couple of years to DO something, anything other than what I was doing, I'm just thick-skulled at times.

Anyway, I'm going to take the LSAT in October. I don't know that I have fully committed to going to law school but it's sounding more and more appealing. I need somewhere around a 155, which I'm told is very doable. Though I've also been informed with my high GPA I should actually shoot for something over 160 (of course, being me, I will want the highest score I can get).

Well, on that note, I should go live my life today! And if you're reading my ramblings, you're most likely someone I love very much. :-) I hope you are well and know how important you are to me. And if we haven't talked in a bit, give me a call - I would love to apologize for my absenteeism and reconnect!