Yellow Runts are Gross

Ok. So I'm not big into sweets but every so often I get a hankering for candy. I prefer tart candy - SweetTarts, sour gummi worms, etc. So the other day I was having a craving and I purchased a box of Runts. My favorite are the pink. I don't know what flavor they are trying to be but I love them. I would buy them by the pound if I could.

Happily, I head home with my box of treats.

Now, there is a downside to Runts, namely Yellow...Yellow is a BAD flavor in many cases (with the exception of lemon). And Runts proves this to be true. The yellow Runts are not lemon. I believe they are attempting to flavor them as banana. It fails. Miserably. Resulting in a disgusting, semi-phallic shaped candy that must be removed immediately from the mix lest it contaminate the other pieces further.

So there I am, all prepared to first remove the offensive yellow pieces and enjoy the remainder...When lo and behold - I notice that the box is announcing they've added new flavors...

This could be really good - I'm envisioning various shades of pink all over the place...mmmm....

...unless they remove some pink to make way for the new flavors OR if the new flavor is another yellow...

I dump the contents of the box onto a paper towel and there they are, the old reassuring ones, mixed with the Hater Banana ones and then the new flavors - some odd, round, reddish ones and then deformed pear shaped and YELLOW...UGH...but I have to try them - just in case they're lemon and delicious....I have hopes!

I know I am naive...

The new, yellow addition to the Runts family is, apparently, their attempt at pineapple (according to the box)...This...this..THING tastes nothing like pineapples..The person who thought this was anything close to tasting like a pineapple needs first to actually eat a pineapple and then, subsequently, be shot....

I had to consult the box to determine what fruit this thing was attempting to be...Again confirming my theory that with the exception of lemon, yellow flavored things are bad...

Mr. Wonka will be hearing about this...