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The wrong side of 7am...

So for the first time in our long term affair, Google lead me astray. It was particularly frustrating at 1am whilst trying to find The Boy's house. I wound up parked behind a Lonestar Steakhouse and while I believe they have one of the best prime ribs I've ever eaten, I could have cared less at that moment in time. So there I sat on Welt or Wendt or something, which turns out to not really be a street but more like some sort of mall access road, thoroughly annoyed...I called of course and the evening or morning was untarnished by Google's carelessness (And oh how untarnished it was!!) but I still felt a little hurt....

The Boy, however, was as wonderful as expected - he's just so sweet and thoughtful. The sexiest, cutest moments continue to happen when I'm with him. Last night, was one of those moments...completely as sigh worthy as our episode in the rain but completely different....

Our time together was winding down..but I wasn't ready to go quite yet..I felt something when I looked at him, something that made me just want to wrap my arms around him and, I don't know..make him better - but there wasn't any reason to soothe, I just felt like I wanted to...I pulled him from his chair onto the couch with me and rubbed his shoulders for a bit. He leaned back into me and I slid my arms around him and after just a few minutes, he was asleep. I rested my chin on his head, face buried into his hair and a few minutes later, I too was asleep - the happysafesleep that is so rare. One of his dogs climbed upon the couch and curled up in his lap and there we stayed. I don't know how long we were - I don't think it was long, but it felt so good....and...wow....

Now that I've not yet slept and I'm feeling the pain of staying out all night, I've got to go torture myself with a good solid workout. Such the masochist am I...

Playing doctor...

So, I've taken myself off of all of the medications. I am not sure how bright this was but I got tired of being so tired all of the time. The joy of being free is overwhelming - Tuesday night was only brought to us in part by Captain Morgan, the rest was the lack of drugs wreaking havoc upon my poor body. I am still reeling in the utter joy found in feeling so good - I don't want it to end!

We'll see how this goes. It could backfire. I hope not. Right now, I'm just going to enjoy...Though I need another patient....Hmmm....

Rain...

Balcony. Late. Doll. Dark. Drunk. Angel. Rain....

Failed cigarettes tossed.

Against the stucco wall, in the pouring rain, he pressed his mouth against mine, hard, reflex and desire, helpless and he tasted like rum and sweet cold rain. I gave in so easily, so eagerly. He murmured something that I didn't hear and yet my knees weakened as his mouth passed by my ear, on his way to kissing the rivulets of water that flowed down the curve of my neck. He followed their trail down and I released an unintentional moan. I don't recall how or why, we returned to the interior and toweled off briefly before collapsing onto the couch, our stride barely broken, we fell back into each other. The chemistry was thick and made doing anything else impossible. 3:30am the rain had ended. Our paths, different directions. Parting words were spoken. The door locked and lights turned out.

I can still taste the rain-kisses. I can still feel him so close, pressed against me. He left his impression on my body - that now feels cavernous, lacking, where last night it felt electric and hungry. I feel his hands tangled in my wet hair. I don't know where my hands were and I don't know where they weren't. He didn't complain. Neither did I.

Finally, after so long but really not so long ago. I feel. My body is alive and aware. While winter approaches, yet spring begins. And it is wonderful and worth whatever it may cost....

I'm as happy as sin...

Well, here it is. I don't get butterflies (or butterfiles as they've been known around the office today) with M. I'm happy to go out with him but there is just no chemistry...It's actually a little sad for me. I really wanted to.

Tonight I've got a date with B - someone who gives me butterfiles with merely an email or a phone call about nothing in particular....Maybe its his strategic use of little pet names (that's always done it for me, I am a bit of a sucker for it). Diminutive names have this weird effect upon me...I wish I could explain why when called angel - something I don't even believe in - I get a little girly....Or maybe its his distinct lack of any feminine characteristics - he's all boy...and he talks like one, something that is apparently very appealing to me right now...Or maybe its his motorcycle...I've not even met the man in person yet and I'm all goofy....I know its in my nature to be overly excited about a potential new love interest....but its so much FUN! :) I love the butterflies and butterfiles...Gotta run...Wish me luck!