Monday, February 19, 2007

.....crazy....

maybe i am crazy. who knows. who cares. music that usually soothes just irritates. i cant sit still but i dont want to move. fingers type words, mouth creates words. meaningless words. all these damn words. words i dont understand. words. i dont even know what they mean. or why ive said them. it doesnt matter. none of it matters. i wish i could be ejected into space. i would love to float weightless. no impact. i would revel in the nothingness. all this stuff is around me. crowding me. wanting things from me. a response. a feeling. something. like waving a gnat off. i slap at the words. i want them to stop. or go. i dont know which. im on the verge of tears at all times. the slightest change in pressure and im broken. and none of it does any good. my words are useless. i am ineffective........sigh.........

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