Playing doctor...

So, I've taken myself off of all of the medications. I am not sure how bright this was but I got tired of being so tired all of the time. The joy of being free is overwhelming - Tuesday night was only brought to us in part by Captain Morgan, the rest was the lack of drugs wreaking havoc upon my poor body. I am still reeling in the utter joy found in feeling so good - I don't want it to end!

We'll see how this goes. It could backfire. I hope not. Right now, I'm just going to enjoy...Though I need another patient....Hmmm....

Rain...

Balcony. Late. Doll. Dark. Drunk. Angel. Rain....

Failed cigarettes tossed.

Against the stucco wall, in the pouring rain, he pressed his mouth against mine, hard, reflex and desire, helpless and he tasted like rum and sweet cold rain. I gave in so easily, so eagerly. He murmured something that I didn't hear and yet my knees weakened as his mouth passed by my ear, on his way to kissing the rivulets of water that flowed down the curve of my neck. He followed their trail down and I released an unintentional moan. I don't recall how or why, we returned to the interior and toweled off briefly before collapsing onto the couch, our stride barely broken, we fell back into each other. The chemistry was thick and made doing anything else impossible. 3:30am the rain had ended. Our paths, different directions. Parting words were spoken. The door locked and lights turned out.

I can still taste the rain-kisses. I can still feel him so close, pressed against me. He left his impression on my body - that now feels cavernous, lacking, where last night it felt electric and hungry. I feel his hands tangled in my wet hair. I don't know where my hands were and I don't know where they weren't. He didn't complain. Neither did I.

Finally, after so long but really not so long ago. I feel. My body is alive and aware. While winter approaches, yet spring begins. And it is wonderful and worth whatever it may cost....

I'm as happy as sin...

Well, here it is. I don't get butterflies (or butterfiles as they've been known around the office today) with M. I'm happy to go out with him but there is just no chemistry...It's actually a little sad for me. I really wanted to.

Tonight I've got a date with B - someone who gives me butterfiles with merely an email or a phone call about nothing in particular....Maybe its his strategic use of little pet names (that's always done it for me, I am a bit of a sucker for it). Diminutive names have this weird effect upon me...I wish I could explain why when called angel - something I don't even believe in - I get a little girly....Or maybe its his distinct lack of any feminine characteristics - he's all boy...and he talks like one, something that is apparently very appealing to me right now...Or maybe its his motorcycle...I've not even met the man in person yet and I'm all goofy....I know its in my nature to be overly excited about a potential new love interest....but its so much FUN! :) I love the butterflies and butterfiles...Gotta run...Wish me luck!

Obsessions, opportunities and e-dating...

Wow - I'm not even sure what to say. Things have gotten stranger and stranger and I'm loving it!!

I really should be working on my econ homework but that makes me want to poke my eyes out with a stick. I HATE economics. Please understand, numbers are just so...baffling to me...I get it - well, some of it and I'm going to pass the class and I know I should be more interested and concerned but if I have to discuss the GDP one more time I'm gonna G-D explode....

So, my latest love is Grant-Lee Phillips. And his album Nineteeneighties combines my love of the 80s with my love of him. Its really quite an amazing album - and he's just so...sigh....There's something...sexy about him....musician with those dark brooding eyes...sigh...

Now for the juicier stuff - though, sadly, my life isn't terribly juicy yet - YET...Tonight I have my second date with M. I'm looking forward to it. He's 31, charming and funny and cute...and I feel like I've known him forever! Yeesh, I sound like I'm 16 again...but see after the losers I've been seeing (Nervous Breakdown guy - who I actually really liked, Wallygreens and Dog-Pee guy) M's a breath of fresh air - he's smart and funny and I would not be embarrassed to introduce him to my family (the true litmus test), so, we'll see where this goes. I'm not expecting anything and I won't be broken if it doesn't go anywhere but he tolerates (and is amused by) my drunken text messages where I refer to myself as the Princess - yeah, he's a pretty good guy - so I'll admit I'm hopeful!

The other scoop is the firing of my boss - which was a total and complete shock. While I will miss him terribly I have been given an amazing opportunity. I've basically been charged with running an entire product line for the company - I'm floored!! I'm scared. I'm nervous. BUT I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!! I drank a whole bottle of wine last night just to calm down - I couldn't even get to work on my homework....sigh....

Anyway, that's really all I've got for now...I need more coffee to combat the mini-hangover I have going on right now...and then, econ. YUCK....

Over and over and over...

I'm having one of those days where I can only listen to one song repeatedly...sigh.. At least it's a good song today. Here it is, enjoy!

Free Coffee!!!!

Five Simple Rules to Happiness

Free your heart from hatred.

Free your mind from worries.

Live simply.

Give more.

Expect less.

Another wonderful thing....

This is courtesy of MC (and Microsoft)....The other highlight of my day.....

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4915875929930836239&q=windows+386

I first thought this story was going to turn into some kinky stuff - but it was much better!!!

I'm In Love!

How on earth did I get this far and not know about Gunther?!?!?!

Help me bring him to Chicago: http://eventful.com/demand/D0-001-000203138-6

I will finish this post later, I just wanted to get him up here.....sigh....

Ah, Beyonce says it all.... :)

"You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I will have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So since I’m not your everything
How about I'll be nothing
Nothing at all to you
Baby I wont shead a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

To the left
To the left

Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable"