Beating My Head Against the Wall of Stupid...

Clients are bad for my health. I think my blood pressure skyrocketed beyond the range of "normal" today.....

1) Client asks why I can't make the rectangular image she sent me fit proportionally into the square space....

2) Client: When will my update be finished?
     Me: My hope is to have it done today. I will let you know when we've finished the programming.
     Client: Ok, thanks.
     Me: The programming has been completed, please review at your convenience.
     Client: What am I looking at?

3) Client receives scam email. Forwards it to a lawyer and asks what he should do. Lawyer says while it's important to protect your trademarks, this is a scam, ignore it, blah, blah, etc, etc. Client then forwards email to me, with a very panicked message about not knowing what should be done and asking what action should be taken. I reiterate that it is a scam and should be deleted and forgotten. Client says "Okie dokie, that was easy peasy". SOMEONE NEEDS THEIR MEDS INCREASED.