(Ok, so not in that order but it sounded funny)
Insanity and Communication
The insanity is really just the stuff in my head and, frankly, not all that insane. I'm too tired to have too much going on, to be honest. Up late the past few nights. I think I had an epiphany this morning. Things started to click and I've made some steps in the right direction. I've come to terms with a few things. I've been so afraid of making changes for the past year or two - it's boring as all hell. Living under this rock is not living, at all. I have hidden in the safety of routine for far too long. And while I have done a few things recently that could be considered "steps" I wasn't being consistent. But that is changing.
I've spoken up, and it's felt good. I've branched out a little, and it's felt good. Time for another boundary push. Couple more and I'll be defying gravity once again....
It's really funny how distorted things become when there is a lack of communication. It's easy to make assumptions. I had an interesting conversation the other night and it brought to light strange assumptions on both sides, all driven by the lack of communication. There are two resolutions for this type of issue as far as I am concerned. One is open dialogue and the other is no dialogue but the caveat to no communication is to make no assumptions. I don't know if our brains are wired to not assume things, or not to try to assemble them in ways that make situations make sense.
I know my brain always wants to add things up for them to make some semblance of sense. And by sense, I do not mean understanding. I have never understood what motivates people, but I do seem to want to know the what - not necessarily the why. The why of these things doesn't always have meaning for me.
Anyway, this conversation I had completely deteriorated - mainly because I was angry, which happens when you believe something was stolen from you. But, what really went down was this - a previous lack of communication and a lack of preparedness for the conversation fueled the stupidity. I actually hadn't planned on having this conversation at all but it was late and I was angry about the incident.
But it got me thinking about effective communication...
I did a paper once in my undergrad about organizational communication and there was this checklist of things to consider when holding a conversation and I wish I had utilized it. Well, I wish I had prepared for this conversation in the first place, lol. There were two topics I covered, one was semi-planned in that I knew what I needed to say. The other was just an angry tirade - which, of course, gets one nowhere.
Anyway, I couldn't find the checklist but I found something along the same lines by Marcia Zidle and think it is something everyone can benefit from:
I know I am guilty of being ill-prepared for many conversations - just easier to wing it. But how effective are those conversations? Would the outcomes have differed if there were more preparation? I know one thing, the deterioration would not have happened had I given it a little more thought!Think of a recent..conversation How many of these questions can you answer YES to?
- Did I prepare ahead of time for this conversation?
- Did I think about what's the best way to approach this person?
- Was I aware of the other person's communication style and spoke to it?
- Did I pay full attention, without multitasking, to what the other person was saying?
- Was the intent of my communication to discuss and understand rather than be right?
- Did I listen, without interruption, to the other person's point of view even if I didn't agree?
- If I was asking the person to take a specific action, did I make my request clear and concise?
- Did I summarize what I thought I heard the other person say before expressing my point of view?
- Did I follow-up to see if the conversation was successful – it led to a positive outcome for the other?
- If the outcome did not meet my expectations, did I reflect on how to better communicate with that particular person?
I wonder how many of us actually prepare for our conversations? Would our communications be more effective, both personally and professionally, if they were more planned? How can one plan for an spontaneous conversation? In our world of instant communication, are we more prone to skipping some of these steps in an effort to be more efficient? Ultimately, is that more efficient if the conversations do not go well?
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Causes.com
Ok, so I'm all about Causes.com - I like that it allows nonprofits to create a following on FaceBook - even though I am a FaceBook hater, I can't ignore it's hold on our society. Nor can I discount it's ability to reach numerous people.
I'm specifically into www.causes.com/causes/10631-no-more-homeless-pets/welcome (of course, as most of you know I'd own a zoo if I could).
So my call to action today is to get you to sign up with Causes.com. Find a cause and support it - easily! It's free, won't take up too much of your time!
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Bacon!!!!
My search for all things Bacon has lead me to this wonderful product! I am very excited to give it a try, especially given my current dissatisfaction with my existing toothpaste. I made the unfortunate decision to try something new and every brushing is torturous. So onto the bacony goodness:
Brought to us once again by the fine purveyors of bacon products at Archie McPhee: http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Bacon-Toothpaste.html
I have to place my order soon. I'm hoping that this is not a disappointment like the others.....
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Anyway, I think that's about it for now. Just things I'm thinking about at the moment.
I hope this finds you all healthy and happy!
XOXO,
K
