Saturday, December 1, 2007

"Love is like ghosts...


...which everybody talks about and few have seen" - La Rochefoucauld

So, I've been doing the online dating thing since May of this year. It's now December and while I didn't have lofty expectations, I did have the expectation that, at minimum, my potential suitors might be capable of stringing together a scant few coherent sentences...alas, it is not so....

Let's take a look at some of the people I've encountered thus far. Some of these men (and I use that term loosely) I went out with a couple of times, others never made it past the first email exchange...sigh....

First, there was the divorcee who had a nervous breakdown of some sort after about a month of seeing each other.

Next, there was the man who couldn't stop calling his work Wallygreens - I actually met this one for a drink...ugh...

Then, there was the guy who invited me down to his place basically to watch his dogs urinate all over his apartment while he got high....Can you give me a "W" for WINNER?!?

There was the really nice guy but we just lacked chemistry and after about a little over a month we just sort of drifted apart....

Oh, then there's the alcoholic who liked to tell me about the DUIs he's racked up - at least this guy could speak in full sentences and didn't need polysyllabic words defined for him....we saw each other a few times over the course of a two month period...though one of our last conversations was him telling me about the bar fight he had just gotten in...sigh....

Hmmm....who else...oh, the guy who over a month's time of emailing, phone calls and daily IMing, after meeting for a drink would hardly address me (at the end of the evening his now famous exiting line was "Keep in touch") - he didn't even have the courage to tell me what his deal was. I wouldn't hold it against someone if they weren't attracted to me, or whatever, but own up to it for crying out loud. What are you, 5? I mean there are nice ways of telling someone you're not interested! Get a grip and grow up....

I've become a little jaded with all of this, but I keep persevering. However, the pickings are slim...Here are some choice quotes from The Boys (I've not spoken to any of these guys via phone yet, and at the rate they're going, they're not worth using my cell minutes). Please note, these are not just typos or mistakes, most of these are after weeks of communicating and often are repeats:

L says: "I not a big book reader" (You don't say...)

J says: "in las vegas for the first time for 3 adn haf days what a blast." (Uh, ok then)

H says: "My membership will expirs soon you can write me." (Um, what?)

Just a few examples of what I've got to look forward to....I think I may need to take a little break for a while or just drink heavily...I thought it would be statistics that drove me over the edge but really, I'm doing quite well in the class. Is it too late to become a nun? Oh wait, that really wouldn't work...Oh well...

Anyway, I'm currently avoiding my stats homework - I should go and hopefully I'll get some work done.

Later....

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