Sunday, September 30, 2012

Apple of My Eye...

Gorgeous Saturday spent in the country. Fall surrounded us as we tramped through the orchard, collecting fruit and watching children frolic.

Music up, windows down as we sped along the highways. I couldn't help but sing along.

We talked of nothing and everything.

Funny, a year ago I was wishing for death, looking forward to bringing myself to an end - and now this. A 180, of sorts. Happily traipsing through orchards and buying mass quantities of cheese. Eagerly looking forward to turning our fresh-picked fruit into apple crisps and pies. 

Life is good. Better than it has been in the last 2 or so years and I am thankful.


Friday, September 21, 2012

Videos

Just one of a handful of Riot Fest videos. The rest can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/yellek228

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Go Megsy!

So my cause of the month is as follows. Megs is looking for sponsors for this worthy cause! Whatever you can contribute $1, $10, whatever you can spare. I sent my $25 yesterday. If everyone contributed a small amount, it could really add up and she can reach her goal!!

Children's Miracle Network Hospital treats thousands of children each year, regardless of their family's ability to pay. These kids are facing scary stuff like cancer, cystic fibrosis, and injuries from accidents to name just a few

On Oct. 20th, 2012, she'll attempt to play an epic 24 hour video game marathon and it's her sincere hope that you'll find it in your heart to support her with a monthly pledge or one-time gift that will go directly to my hospital.

Your donation is tax-deductible and ALL PROCEEDS go to help kids.

http://www.extra-life.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=34048

This is a truly worthy cause, please help!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Riot Fest!

So the weekend at Riot Fest was the best weekend I've had in ages. Surrounded, enveloped, immersed in music. Amazing music. It started on Saturday with Of Mice and Men, caught a little Frank Turner, then GWAR, The Gaslight Anthem (♥♥♥♥) and ended with Dropkick Murphys and some moshing.

Sunday's opener for me was Imagine Dragons, then heard a bit of Less Than Jake, saw AWOLNATION (♥♥♥OMGOMGOMGOMG YAY!!!♥♥♥), listened to Jesus and Mary Chain from a distance - same with Elvis Costello then finally finished the day with Alkaline Trio.

My mementos were a pair of fuzzy dice for Mia, a kickass sparkle purse in red, a layer of park filth that I think will take a week of scrubbing to remove and some tired legs from two days of bouncing around. We has a sadistic ferris wheel operator who wouldn't let us off - I feared we'd miss Gaslight Anthem we were on the damned thing so long. We boarded the ride at the same time as two other people, yet they were let off while we went around and around and around. And around. Again. And again. To be quite honest, it was funny as hell.

I had forgotten how much I love music. How important it is to me. How much meaning and influence..How much I love it live.

Anyway, I need to get on with it. I'll be reeling from this for weeks, I'm sure. :-)
Riot Fest 2012

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Napkin Ramblings



Oh my, what a week and it's only Wednesday! This weekend holds much promise. Friday, I hope to meet this amazing artist as it's his closing. Saturday and Sunday, allll music alll day long, both days! Can't wait. 

Been feeling a little...funny. Not sick, but something else. Something that makes me nervous. Only time and a doctors visit will tell or at least a visit to the drug store. I'm trying not to think about it - maybe it's just stress. lol...


September 5th, written on a napkin, hospital cafeteria:

I sit near a window that looks out onto a courtyard full of rain sodden plants. Leaves bowed, droplets run like liquid diamonds. It's graphite, not coal, that turns to diamonds, I think absently. 

I've been engrossed in a series of books for the past few days - they've been all consuming. Tales of a dystopian America. And I wonder why I'm always so taken with such novels. The ones that remind me of 451. 

Is it because it's where I see our society heading? Am I so cynical? My personality is always at odds, how does one be so generally happy and good natured, yet expect nothing but the worst from society, from people - all while pushing myself and others to to contribute to all that IS actually good. It makes little sense. But then, who said it had to? 

Consumed, like dry leaves in a fire, these novels engulf me. They're hideous, murderous things. Telling of oppression and desperation and consumption. And I cannot stop, nor do I want to. 

The coffee, for all my trepidation as I watched it pour into my disposable cup, isn't bad. Oddly, I'm calm. Not overly worried about her lying in surgery. Not clawing at the walls to get out. No stomach churning knots of nervousness and concern. I'm convinced she will be ok. I have no choice but to believe this - the alternative is not acceptable. 

The rain has stopped and a hospital employee walks with a toddler around the courtyard. The child scampers and laughs, ducking behind potted plants, easily three times her size. Her brown curls lift from her shoulders as she spins in a circle with increasing speed. Then, as if jolted by lightning, she stops abruptly. Now legs and head wobble drunkenly as she waits for the world to stop spinning, just as her body did. She laughs, uncontrollably, infectiously - her caretaker joins in. I can't actually hear their laughter but I feel it.

The joy she exudes it almost tangible. There's no malice in her, no hatred, no fear to stop her. She is light and love and happiness. She embodies all that is good and amazing in this world. 

Maybe that's why. While I expect the worst from people, I see the potential. I see the possibilities and I cling to that - hoping against all hope that they will live up to those expectations. That their laughter will be shared and contribute to the good of our world, that they'll do the right thing when called upon.

I'm no saint, but I will own up to my own shortcomings and always strive to do better. I will apologize when I am wrong, mistaken, or hurt someone. I will do what I can to learn from my past in order to do better in the future. My being dictates that I do no less, regardless of what has been done to me or those that I love. And I have hope. Hope for myself and hope for others and hope for our world.





Sunday, September 2, 2012

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Get a Life!

Since early January, someone has been targeting my online accounts - I got a bit of a reprieve for the past couple of weeks, until this week when attempts have been made to access my Facebook and Dropbox accounts...

Thus far, I've had accounts at places created using my email address - which while irritating, is not terribly difficult to deal with. The person has used the name "Kim" with various last names and created a variety of accounts. I just close the account and move on. But it often involves a bunch of stupidity (why I hate dealing with customer service centers, generally) - just one example of the idiocy I encounter when I try to get rid of the accounts - after already having explained the issue - that someone, who is not me, used my email address to create an account (obviously they did not read the original support ticket where I tell them who I am and what has occurred):

Let me repeat myself again and again and again...please

Now my Twitter account has been compromised (not that I use it much at all, and I did manage to get it back no worse for wear) and there have been repeated attempts to access my Facebook account:

No, Facebook, in fact I did NOT request to have my pw reset...and certainly not twice in the same day!

There have also been attempts to access my Gmail account as well as my PayPal. It's become tiresome... Obviously, someone has so little in their life, they have to resort to this childish behavior. Thankfully, my RL is rich enough that this isn't more than a mild irritation, that really shouldn't even warrant this blog post. But I think it amusing that someone has so much time on their hands. To have irked someone so much to drive them to such behavior, truly amuses...

Funny, it's only happening to accounts where my email address is used, and only my primary email address. Not ones where I have a username or where I have used an alternate email address, which are completely varied. So it's someone who only has my email address to go off of.

In my irritation over having to deal with all of this, I deleted a bunch of the emails and such, not wanting to linger on this idiocy, having saved little more than a couple of the emails as shown above. I wish I had realized that there was going to be a long term pattern or I would have saved more of the items - though to what end, I know not. It does not matter.

Months of this subtle harassment have gone on. And after receiving that anonymous email back in December, I'm really just done - I can't imagine who is at the bottom of all of this, nor do I really want to. I've updated my passwords and just keep shutting down the random accounts.

Speaking of RL - it's amazing. :-) I'm sorry I had forgotten the awesomesauce of a life less virtual. What a  waste of time by comparison. There is part of me that regrets having spent three years on such worthlessness. Spending my valuable time with people who have to invent a virtual life because their real lives are so lacking in meaning and substance. Their achievements are meaningless out of context, have no impact on the real world - all in the name of "fun". And in context, so what? It's fairly meaningless there too.

Fun is to not be chained to a computer, to have actual contact with real people, exchange real ideas and actually do things that make a difference. To have real experiences - to really feel things (both tangible and intangible).

To think, I was counted amongst those ranks is laughable now. Since December the things I have actually done amounted to more than what I had done in those three years.

My recent vexation required some introspection - and what it boiled down to was my real life and the stupidity were at serious odds and I was being dragged back in again. It angered me to the point of losing my temper on a couple of occasions. And then it dawned upon me, I don't want to be sucked back in. My real life is far more interesting and important than the nonsense. And those who wish to keep me engaged in it aren't really worthwhile. What I want for my life is what I am going out and getting. And spending any more time on the idiocy isn't going to get me the things that I want.

Now, regret can only go so far because out of that time, I come away with Snowy, Mai, Lisa, Beau, Kevin, and Ry just to name a few - people who have changed my life for the better, people whom I love without question, without hesitation. People who reciprocate, radiate and reflect that same love back. And, had things not gone the way that they have, I may not be in the current position that I am - which would be truly unfortunate. The Fates have a wicked sense of humor. ;-)

This weekend should be fun, Friday is date night, Saturday I've got errands, shopping, and plans with my Grasshopper (hopefully, I'll get some Snowy/coffee talk this weekend too), Sunday is a BBQ with the family and Monday will be my usual laundry, some work around the condo and probably reading - unless my new someone dangles something shiny in front of me, as he is wont to do. And yes, yes - I will get in some studying too - ugh. Lol.

In closing, my message to my "fan" is this, get a life. A real one. If you don't find it much more rewarding than trying to irritate me, you should also seek some help. You obviously have larger issues that need addressing. And if it's more than one person participating, maybe you can get a group rate. :-)

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

SleepyKitty

Long day followed by far too much falafel...

Need a sunspot...

Curl up...

Purring...

Monday, August 27, 2012

Tell me why...

I don't like Mondays!

Yesterday, we walked all afternoon in the rain, poking in little shops, dodging the bigger droplets as best we could. Ducking under awnings when possible, though I wasn't really minding being rained upon - but my shoes got really soaked which was a little icky. Probably not smart to wear my sparkle shoes in the rain. I wasn't thinking....

There was this adorable shop that I must return to and then a shop of puzzles and board games that were totally fascinating. I will be back to do real shopping there - I found a set of adorable coffee/tea mugs and some other random accessories that I wouldn't mind owning, once the condo gets in order.

We stopped for sushi and debated going to the movies, but we ended up on his couch - he hadn't seen The Duchess yet and it's one of my favorites (Yeah, I know stuff doesn't blow up but I do love a good costume drama). I didn't linger long after the film, needing to head home to study and do laundry - both were almost failures - machines were in use, I got distracted by shiny objects and wondering if people explode when they're jettisoned into the vacuum that is outer space. Ok, so not so shiny - but I bagged up some junk that I jettisoned out of the condo this morning and I learned that people do not explode in space but the moisture on your tongue might boil. I played a few logic games but they made me sleepykitty and I started to pass out. Not a total fail of an evening but a touch off course.

Anyway, I should get on with the day and get myself to work!